It was a dark and stormy night… Not really. In fact, it is the middle of a hot summer day during the start of August. I just like to build the suspense and act all melodramatic once a while. As you might have guessed, my name is Robert Benoit. I’m your not so average, average twenty-three year old living the dream in central Massachusetts. I’ve never really managed a conversation that is meant to be permanently ongoing, I’ll probably end up saying something stupid or offensive at some point. Perhaps in the next post…or this one. Hopefully I’ll avoid the offending anybody part though. I guess the best way to break the ice is to jump head first and pray that I find my way back to the surface.
I’ll start with a bit of insight into my life, get the ball rolling and open up a bit. I’m about a year out of college now and I haven’t gone very far. My daytime work involves a part time in the Produce department at my local Wal-Mart and the other half is a content writing job at a small web design company.
I ask myself what I’m doing with my life. The most important questions I’ve asked myself today was, “How do they come up with the names for apples? Did somebody just make them up as they saw them or are they named after the founder of the apple?” Crap, I can’t believe I ever contemplated that. It is hard to keep my mind focused on what’s ahead when I’m seemingly stuck in the middle. Often I have to remind myself: Rob! What are your goals?! How are you going to get there?!
One of my ongoing goals in life is to become a screenwriter and potentially a director if I ever find the time. My passion is definitely ingrained predominantly in the writing portion of creativity. Some people say its amazing that I have written my first novel already, but I don’t think so. It has very little chance of being publishable and I’m not sure if it is even any good. I worry about everything that I write. Is it too pretentious? Is the prose weak? Do the characters accurately reflect people? Is the story a cohesive flowing arc or a mess?
I don’t want to be like John Green or Nicolas Sparks. I do not want to tear at the heart strings and write for money as opposed to truly standing out as an artist. I think it is too easy to settle and belch out a steaming pile of literature with no emotional payoff. I want to be the kind of writer who can cause others to think. To ask questions about themselves, about humanity, about the very foundation of our existence. God, I’m starting to sound like John Green by not trying to sound like John Green.
Do not get me wrong in reading my often sarcastic tone. In light of my amassing college debt that I’ll likely never pay off, I’m very happy with my life. I have goals, I have dreams. I see so many people around me with not inspiration, motivation, or aspiration. They’re content with just being, yet they complain about the daily grind. I refuse to get stuck in that mindset, to give in to the powers that be and coast for the rest of my life. I have to chase the goals because otherwise, what is the point of the passion that burns in me?
That is why I’m going to working a lot more towards what I want to do. I want to make short films in my spare time. I’m going to write more short stories in my spare time. I’m going to search for more writing gigs wherever I can. Anything to get my foot in the door somewhere or to simply get my name out there to people who might be interested in what I’m trying to do.
Do have the slightest idea where my life is going? Do I know where I’m supposed to be? Do I know how I’m going to get there? Not one bit. But as I work my way towards the answers I seek to those questions, this will be the place that the journey starts and keeps going. Whether or not it is one worth following, I haven’t the faintest idea. Apologies in advance and thanks for readings.